Sun. April 28, 2019 – not as resilient as I once was

67F and sunny. Looks like a great day.

I was up until after 3am. I’m awake but not by much. The girls are doing chemistry at the kitchen table, making slime.

I need to do chemistry at the counter and get some waffles going. Breakfast sausages too.

Busy, backson.


Author: Nick Flandrey

Mid 50s, stay at home dad, with two elementary school age girls. Love my family and my life.

25 thoughts on “Sun. April 28, 2019 – not as resilient as I once was”

  1. Last of the guests is gone. Much slime was concocted by young girls. Much breakfast was eaten. Sportsball and swim team this afternoon.

    I did do some small prepping this weekend. I bought a bunch of ammo. It was mostly about 50% off thru an auction. Some other preps from the same auction include medical supplies, armorer’s tools, and a nice foldup solar panel and charger. It will find a home in one of the vehicles. (many gubs were also sold in the auction but prices were retail, even before the buyer’s premium and FFL transfer fees.) Oh, and I’m a sucker for binos, so I got a couple too, one small, one extra large.

    Sold a couple of small items on ebay this week, with one more going out tomorrow.

    My first online bulk auction was a success. My second has started, and I’ll be taking a couple more loads there this week too.

    I better get some gardening done today while I have the time.


  2. My wife passed away last Sunday evening. She had Alzheimer’s; she had a stroke in 2016; she fell and broke her hip last August. She hadn’t been able to speak a sentence for about two years. Hospice had her on morphine for the last month, but she still whimpered from the pain most of the time. She was down to 80 pounds when we lost her. It is a mixed blessing. We were married 39 years on April 12.

    Our two dogs passed form old age in the last 15 months so the house is empty. (The cat is a loner, not a companion.) I plan to get another dog.

    While I was the care giver for Lynda I wore myself out. I got down to 125 pounds from my normal wiry 155 – I’m 5’10, having shrunk from 6′ due to my age of 73 . I hope I can regain my ability to think; I know I have not been my normal self the last several years. Too often I have not been able to focus on a problem and resolve like I used to.

    Old age is ganging up on me. I have arthritis so my poor typing has gotten even worse. My eye sight used to be well above average. I had cataract surgery and hoped to get some of that back. Now both eyes have shadows. The right eye has a full second image below and to the right and the left eye has a second image lower by about 10 or 15%. I can no longer do detailed work on small items as I can’t see them clearly. Driving at night is a problem as well. However I can still walk just fine and started running again.

    I had previously decided to relocate from the Sanford, North Carolina to the Prattville area north of Montgomery, AL after my wife passed. My oldest son and two granddaughters live there with the rest of the family scattered across the country and one in Australia.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your loss, Bob. My prayers are for you.

  4. Sorry for your loss Bob. Death is another part of life. Not to sound cruel but it seems in this case that death was a release from a painful existence. Suffering until the end is not living. Move on with your life, cherish the good memories, ignore the unpleasant.

  5. @Bob, sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds like a tough two years for the both of you.

    I like your idea to move closer to family. If nothing else, the companionship is a good thing, especially now. Living a mile or five away from your son would be good for the both of you. Maybe y’all can make supper for each other a night or three each week.

  6. So sorry for your loss Bob. That was one hell of a couple of years.


  7. systems becoming unreliable is one of the warnings for collapse.

    If email is unreliable, it joins phones (which I don’t even answer any more because it’s nothing but robocall spam), drinking water, local government, police, schools, the food supply, and many others.


  8. From yesterday:

    I have learned that fewer doctors will take VA patients than Medicaid patients as the VA apparently is more difficult to get payment even though they pay the same.

    We are moving from a high trust society to a low trust society. Email denial and refusal to pay invoices without extreme verification are both signs of this. It can and will get worse with the number of scam artists out there both inside and outside the USA.

  9. It was very hard to build a high trust society and it isn’t hard at all to break it down to low trust. Diversity of background and belief systems did it just fine. The diversity of skin color is just the outer identifier.


  10. “Avengers fans brutally beat man outside cinema after he ‘loudly revealed the surprise ending to blockbuster Endgame movie’”


    I was in trouble at home when I showed my wife a picture of [actress name] at the premiere. Apparently, even that’s a spoiler.

    I only watch MCU for [actress’ character] brief appearances.

  11. “Star Trek Discovery” wrapped its season last week …

    Watched the premiere episode of ST:D (snicker) when it aired a couple (?) of years back. After watching at least one outright act of insubordination followed by a mutiny, I was unwilling to suspend my disbelief.

    It will surprise no one when I say that I also ditched “The Orville” after one episode. Utter pap.

    Unwilling to pay for HBO, so my sole experience of the “Game of Thrones” TV series is via short clips on YT. Dumbed-down, formulaic versions of the books’ contents.

    I have read all of the extant GoT books, all 4,128 pages of them. Medieval soap opera, entertaining soap opera, but soap opera nonetheless.

    As Mort Sahl used to say: “If there’s anyone who I haven’t offended, please let me know.” 🙂

  12. Watched the premiere episode of ST:D (snicker) when it aired a couple (?) of years back. After watching at least one outright act of insubordination followed by a mutiny, I was unwilling to suspend my disbelief.

    “Discovery” is wildly uneven. “Ensign Tilly” is still painful.

  13. I’m going to bed early tonight. Kids kept me up and wore me out.


    edit– I did get one raised bed planted. Cukes and carrots, from seedling and seeds respectively. Pretty much all I can plant now is seedlings, it’s so late. The carrots are a bit of an “oh well, nothing to lose” try.

    I also grabbed a half hour and fixed an isolation transformer. This will let two other repair projects proceed.

  14. “Discovery” is wildly uneven. “Ensign Tilly” is still painful.

    I enjoyed the 2nd season with “Pike”. Then they dumped the whole season at the end.

    Please dump “Tilly”. Geez she sucks.

  15. I enjoyed the 2nd season with “Pike”. Then they dumped the whole season at the end.

    I think the Pike spinoff is coming. They spent too much money on that bridge and costumes for it all to be a one-off.

  16. “Discovery” is wildly uneven. “Ensign Tilly” is still painful.

    Worse than Ensign Crusher ?

  17. Bob, my heartfelt condolences. I hope that, once the immediate grief passes, you will find more energy.

  18. “‘Discovery’ is wildly uneven. ‘Ensign Tilly’ is still painful.

    Worse than Ensign Crusher ?

    Ensign Crusher was a Gene Roddenberry brain fart.

    Ensign Tilly is part of the “Girls in Tech” pop meme. The one that says that the space program would have gone nowhere if left just up to the men.

    “Discovery” has very cool, strong female characters starting with Michelle Yeoh. Even Rebecca Romjin’s Number One was great, personifying enginnering/command competence in a minor role. Ensign Tilly is … I have no idea.

  19. @Bob: My sympathies. Give yourself a bit of time.

    “I have not been able to focus on a problem and resolve like I used to.”

    I think that will come back. You’ve been under stress – again, give yourself time. Get back into the habit of focusing on a problem, and you’ll soon be able to do so again.

  20. @Bob – My deepest sympathies.

    My wife passed away in May, 2015, after a five year ‘disagreement’ with cancer. Her last nine months on hospice with me as the primary caretaker was exhausting. It took a year for me to be fully functional mentally, particularly with things like planning. The ability to commit to a plan more than a day ahead took time to regain.

    In the four years since, I have met a wonderful lady. Not long after we started dating, she too had a ‘disagreement’ with cancer. After a year of surgeries and treatment, her outcome is looking exceptionally good. We now live together, and we both expect many great years to follow.

    What I learned, and what has helped my through both of these trying times is:
    History does not repeat, it just tricks us to thinking it may, so don’t fall for the lie.
    Stay close to your friends and family, and accept help when offered.
    Find happiness where you can, avoid people and activities which may bring you down.

    My friends where particularly clever and wonderful throughout all this. In the later half of 2015, one close couple made sure to include me in a weekly dinner. It became a habit over the course of a year, as we alternated homes and became creative with meals. I slowly started to plan events rather than react to them.

    I turn 50 this summer. Sometime I feel like I have lived two lifetimes. Now, I remind myself that I am not done yet. I am ready for more. People tell me I am one of the happiest people they know. Maybe so.

    Best to you Bob, and all those who have lost someone close. Stay hopeful, find happiness. You are not alone.

  21. Ensign Tilly is … I have no idea.

    Star Fleet appears to have, er, dropped the weight standard, also.

  22. @mediumwave
    I think you will enjoy the Malazan Book of the Fallen series.

    @Greg Norton
    You can still have the ‘Girls in Tech’ meme with good characterization, e.g. Kaylee from Firefly, Radical Edward from Cowboy Bebop, etc.


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