Saturday, 24 December 2016

09:19 – I feel better now. It isn’t just me who’s been unable to shoot down Santa Claus. I saw an article in the paper this morning that NORAD has been tracking him for 60 years and has apparently never even been able to get off a shot. That’s not surprising, I guess, since when he’s moving it’s at about 0.999C and he only stops for a few nanoseconds at each home as he robs it of milk and cookies. This guy commits billions of home invasions every year, and apparently there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him.

So, I’ve decided to give up. Oh, I’ll put out poisoned milk and cookies as a gesture, but I’m not expecting much.