Sunday, 16 June 2013

09:43 – It’s been pretty hectic for the last couple of days. We were without power from Thursday afternoon until Friday evening. A couple hours after our power came back on Friday evening, Frances called to let Barbara know that their dad was in pretty bad shape. We drove down to Hospice and ended up staying all night. We were expecting Dutch to die during the night, but he held on. We finally left and got home around 8:00 yesterday morning to let Colin out and give him some attention. Then we headed back down to Hospice yesterday afternoon and stayed through the evening. At this point, Dutch is basically gone although he’s still breathing. Barely, and sometimes he stops for a while. My guess is that one of these times he just won’t start breathing again.

At this point, I think Barbara is going to stay home and wait for a call from Hospice. There’s nothing she can do for her dad, who’s not awake let alone alert. If she does go down to Hospice it’ll be to support her mom. Right now, Sankie is at Frances’s and Al’s house. It’s Sankie’s decision whether she wants to sit over at Hospice waiting for Dutch to die, but we’re encouraging her not to. She’s 85 years old, and it’s very wearing on her. Right now, she’s terrified about what’s going to happen after Dutch dies. Sankie has never lived alone in her life. She married Dutch in 1946 right out of high school and has lived with him for 67 years. She’s terrified at the thought of living on her own.

Barbara and I sat and talked with her last night. Her dream is completely unrealistic. She wants to find a little house in a little town that has everything within walking distance. She’s thinking Ozzie & Harriet in the 50’s, with local grocery stores and butchers and green grocers and druggists a few steps from her door and a downtown main street packed with shops and small restaurants run by friendly people that she’s known for years. Barbara and I pointed out that the world isn’t like that any more, even in small towns, and hasn’t been for 50 years or more. We also pointed out that she already has the closest modern equivalent to that where she is now, at Creekside retirement village.