{"id":3153,"date":"2016-12-24T09:19:08","date_gmt":"2016-12-24T14:19:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/?p=3153"},"modified":"2016-12-24T09:19:08","modified_gmt":"2016-12-24T14:19:08","slug":"saturday-24-december-2016","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/2016\/12\/24\/saturday-24-december-2016\/","title":{"rendered":"Saturday, 24 December 2016"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: bold; color: #000099; font-family: Arial;\">09:19 &#8211;<\/span> I feel better now. It isn&#8217;t just me who&#8217;s been unable to shoot down Santa Claus. I saw an article in the paper this morning that NORAD has been tracking him for 60 years and has apparently never even been able to get off a shot. That&#8217;s not surprising, I guess, since when he&#8217;s moving it&#8217;s at about 0.999C and he only stops for a few nanoseconds at each home as he robs it of milk and cookies. This guy commits billions of home invasions every year, and apparently there&#8217;s nothing anyone can do to stop him.<\/p>\n<p>So, I&#8217;ve decided to give up. Oh, I&#8217;ll put out poisoned milk and cookies as a gesture, but I&#8217;m not expecting much.<\/p>\n<hr style=\"width: 65%; height: 3px; font-family: Arial;\" \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>09:19 &#8211; I feel better now. It isn&#8217;t just me who&#8217;s been unable to shoot down Santa Claus. I saw an article in the paper this morning that NORAD has been tracking him for 60 years and has apparently never even been able to get off a shot. That&#8217;s not surprising, I guess, since when he&#8217;s moving it&#8217;s at about 0.999C and he only stops for a few nanoseconds at each home as he robs it of milk and cookies.<\/p>\n<p> <a href=\"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/2016\/12\/24\/saturday-24-december-2016\/\">&nbsp;&raquo;&nbsp;Read more about: Saturday, 24 December 2016 &nbsp;&raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3153","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3153","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3153"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3153\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3153"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3153"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ttgnet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3153"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}