Thursday, 23 August 2012

By on August 23rd, 2012 in Barbara

07:17 – It’s never good when the phone rings before 6:00 a.m. Barbara’s mom called this morning to say that she couldn’t breathe or stand up and that she’d called 911. Barbara called her sister, who lives much closer to their parents, and Frances said she’d head over to their parents’ house immediately to meet 911. Barbara jumped in the shower, got dressed, packed a bag, and headed for the hospital. She’ll have to stay with her dad tonight if her mom is admitted to the hospital, because they won’t let him stay alone at night.

This is how it’s been for months now for Barbara and her sister. A medical emergency followed by a couple days of normality, if they’re lucky, followed by another medical emergency. The level of stress on their parents is unimaginable, but it’s no picnic for Barbara and Frances, either. This simply can’t go on.


11:48 – Barbara called a while ago to say that the hospital hadn’t admitted her mother. Frances was taking their parents to their home while Barbara made a drugstore run to get prescriptions filled. Apparently, her mother has a UTI. The doctor also prescribed Xanax for anxiety. Barbara’s mom is terrified that Barbara’s dad is going to die. Her mom can’t sleep because she’s afraid that Dutch will die with her asleep.

Actually, that’s not an unreasonable fear. Dutch is, after all, 90 years old and has some serious health problems. Barbara’s mom is terrified that her husband will die before she does. Considering that she’s several years younger than Dutch and in better health, that’s of course more likely to happen than the converse. Barbara’s mom just can’t accept the fact that, awake or asleep, there’s not a thing she can do about it. If she were a doctor, there would still be nothing she could do about it. And so Barbara’s mom is putting herself under even more stress and suffering panic attacks.

Unfortunately, if it happens as Barbara’s mom fears it will, the survivor’s guilt will be devastating. I watched it happen, years ago. Back in the mid-70’s, I moved in with my girlfriend, who was renting the upstairs of a house owned by a young widow. She was a nurse, and had been married to a doctor who suffered from a congenital heart problem. One evening, they fell asleep in the den, he in his recliner, and she sitting on the floor leaning against his legs. When she woke up, he was dead. He was in his early 30’s and she was in her late 20’s. To make matters even worse, she was a cardiac-care nurse. She was left with an infant girl and a devastating guilt that she’d slept through her husband’s death. This despite the fact that her husband’s doctor and all her other doctor friends told her the same thing. There wasn’t a damned thing she could have done if she’d been awake. There wasn’t a damned thing she could have done if she’d been a cardiac surgeon in a fully-equipped operating room. It wasn’t her fault. She understood that on an intellectual level, but emotionally she felt responsible for his death. Almost 40 years later, I suspect she still does.

24 Comments and discussion on "Thursday, 23 August 2012"

  1. Chuck W says:

    Got a shock today. As occasionally frequently happens in the US, I got some paper currency change,—this time a couple $1 bills—one which had the upper right “$1” torn off, and the other obviously had been through the wash with bleach. A couple businesses refused to take them, so I did what I have done all my life, I took them into my bank to get them exchanged for acceptable money.

    Guess what? They would not take them or exchange them! ‘New government rules. We can no longer accept or exchange money that has been “mutilated” in any way. Very sorry about that.’

    There is not much to applaud in this country anymore. In Europe, I never saw currency in such bad shape as US bills—especially 1’s, which long ago should have been replaced by coins.

    Examine the bills you get and make sure you refuse ones that are “mutilated in any way”. They are apparently worthless. Meanwhile, some poor underpaid waitress is going to get these bills, and hopefully she can unload them more successfully than me. The apologetic bank guy suggested that I just keep on trying to unload the apparently worthless bills on some business.

    What a country!

  2. Miles_Teg says:

    Hmmm, my former brother-in-law used to do a bit of preaching at times at the church we went to in the Seventies. He was a bank teller, eventually a manager, and illustrated a sermon once by tearing up a $10 note that he said was counterfiet and worthless. It wasn’t of course, the next day he just traded the shreds for a new $10 note.

    I’ve never had this problem with businesses or banks, they’ll take notes (=”bills”) that are quite mutilated. Perhaps we should take over the Fed? 🙂 And I thought the US had replaced it’s low value “bills” with coins. We replaced our paper $1 in 1984 and paper $2 in 1988. They just weren’t lasting long enough. Now we have plastic notes that last much longer:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banknotes_of_the_Australian_dollar

  3. Miles_Teg says:

    Chuck, just send in the worthless “bills” to Obama’s or Romney’s campaign… 🙂

  4. Miles_Teg says:

    Amazingly enough, one of the Murdochs seems to have ethics and a conscience:

    http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-08-24/elisabeth-murdoch-takes-swipe-at-brother-james/4219376

  5. brad says:

    I wonder what you are supposed to do with the bills?! If banks won’t take them, then businesses are also screwed, as they ultimately deposit their money in a bank. I rather thought one of the functions of banks was to filter out currency that was no longer in good condition.

    I remember discussions 30 years ago about getting rid of the dollar bill. Granted, the first attempt to do so, back in 1979, was a really stupid failure: minting the “Susan B. Anthony” dollar coin that was almost indistinguishable from a quarter. Still, it just makes no sense that it is still around. All the fed has to do is stop printing dollar bills and tell banks to stop handing them out. Stop the 2-dollar bills as well, just have the five as the lowest denomination. Ignore the inevitable-but-short-lived protest from the clueless. Done.

  6. Ray Thompson says:

    I wonder what you are supposed to do with the bills?

    You can send damaged bills to the US Treasury. They will examine the bills and attempt to reconstruct the damaged bills. When they have more than 50% of a bill they consider that valid. When it is all said and done the treasury will issue the person a check for the value of the money. It does take considerable time. The more damage the longer the time. My uncle did this with a couple thousand dollars that was damaged by by animals. He only got $1950 back from the treasury as the rest were too far damaged to reconstruct.

    All the fed has to do is stop printing dollar bills and tell banks to stop handing them out.

    I too have wondered why the US keeps any denomination below $5. On my recent trip to Canada I took about $50 worth of Canadian money that my aunt had. I used the money in a grocery store. There were several $1 and $2 bills. The clerk remarked they must be old as those denominations are no longer printed.

  7. Lynn McGuire says:

    Me too on the $1 bills. The only problem is that change is heavy. But I would think that the vending machine owners would rejoice at having a consistent $1 coin in the populace and not having to maintain a separate dollar bill acceptor.

    I am amazed how many people write their phone numbers and names on dollar bills. Seems icky to me.

  8. Chuck W says:

    Never before now, have I ever had a bank refuse to exchange mutilated bills for better ones. In fact, they used to be somewhat thankful that you helped pull them from circulation. But I have been gone for 10 years. The changes have not been good. It is all part of that concept that ALL money belongs to banks and the government, and none of it is yours. What they don’t steal through inflation, they will someday come and get the rest—likely with a SWAT team.

  9. Chuck W says:

    I found the European denominations much easier to deal with than US. The quarter is the real problem; an odd denomination. The coins for 1 and 2 euro are not particularly heavy—no more than a US quarter. So they CAN make coins to replace the $1 bill that are not heavy.

    What was really heavy was British money back before they started making it smaller around 1985. It had a really, really nice clank to it, too. When you had a pocket full of coins, and walked down the street, that lower-pitched clanking made you feel like you had a lot of money on you. But nowadays, their money sounds as cheap as US coins. Nothing cheaper sounding than the tinny, high-pitched dime. Frankly, I would like to see all American coins revamped so as the value increases, so does the size.

  10. Lynn McGuire says:

    BTW, there is a lawsuit from the Society for the Blind that bills need to be easily identifiable by touch.
    http://www.ourmoneytoo.org/

    I have no idea if this is moving on or dead in the water. Euro bills are different sizes if I remember correctly.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euro_banknotes

  11. Chuck W says:

    Yes, the euro notes are different sizes (and colors), but I would not think a blind person could detect what denomination the notes are by feel, only that one is larger than another. I know that there is some way for blind people to discern the value, but I do not know what it is. At one time, British coins were designed so blind people could easily detect what they were. On some the edges were smooth, others had ridges, still others were shaped with an irregular—not a round—outer edge.

    One of the other things that I suspect many here would agree with, is that German ATM machines dispensed high denominations, unlike US machines that almost always dispense $20’s or smaller. It is well-known that people are less likely to spend higher denominations than lower ones, and Germany purposely gives out higher denominations to encourage savings. Of course, American politicians, government, and banking want people to spend more than they make, and that is what we get by dispensing small denominations.

  12. Roy Harvey says:

    I sure hope ATMs keep giving out $20 bills considering how many places I’ve seen signs saying we are sorry but we can no longer accept bills in denominations of $50 and higher.

  13. eristicist says:

    At one time, British coins were designed so blind people could easily detect what they were. On some the edges were smooth, others had ridges, still others were shaped with an irregular—not a round—outer edge.

    I’m fairly sure a blind person could still differentiate our coins.
    1p – small diameter, thin and smooth edge
    2p – large diameter, thin and smooth edge
    5p – small diameter, thin and ridged edge
    10p – large diameter, thin and ridged edge
    20p – small diameter, heptagonal
    50p – large diameter, heptagonal
    £1 – medium diameter, thick, ridged
    £2 – large diameter, thick, ridged

  14. OFD says:

    And for those storing up silver and gold coinage, I would make sure it is in the smaller denominations, also. Bags of pre-1964 silver coins that the late Mel Tappan was recommending forty years ago, for instance, and one- and five-dollar gold coins at the most. I’d also stick with U.S. and Canadian for those of us remaining in North America and not sashaying off to Europe or the Caribbean with the bail-out billions ripped off from us taxpayers. If I had the bucks, though, and was not tied to Nova Anglia by blood, bones and DNA, I’d certainly consider San Marino and Switzerland.

  15. brad says:

    “how many places I’ve seen signs saying we are sorry but we can no longer accept bills in denominations of $50 and higher.”

    I worried about this when we visited last Spring; $20 bucks ain’t what it used to be. It turned out to no longer the the problem it once was: I paid with $100 bills lots of times, and never had a problem. I won’t mention how much money we went through in the course of a visit: we went with empty suitcases (literally, in once case), and came home with full ones. Shop till you drop…

    @OFD: Well, if you are out our way, you are welcome to drop by – we’ll have a beer and speculate about the coming meltdown. Whether Switzerland will be less affected? That depends on the ability of the Swiss politicians to play all sides off against each other, as they did in WWII. If it goes right, we are a safe haven for all sides; if it goes wrong, we get looted.

  16. Miles_Teg says:

    A few days ago I posted a link to Australian Dollar banknotes. Now it’s the turn of our coins:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coins_of_the_Australian_dollar

    Our notes tend to get longer as the value goes up but the height remains the same, and the colours are noticeably different. There’s various security features that make them hard to counterfeit and they’re now made of polymer, so they last much longer.

    The 1c and 2c coins are no longer in general circulation but remain legal tender. The coins increase in size as the denomination increases. This wasn’t the case when 1c and 2c coins (made of copper) were common – the 2c coin was larger than the 5c. The $1 and $2 coins, introduced in 1984 and 1988 respectively are smaller than the 20c and 50c, and the $2 is smaller than the $1. Otherwise they’re fairly consistent. I like it that our notes are coloured, helps in sorting them by denomination.

  17. Chuck W says:

    Just got logged out again, by refreshing all the open tabs. Fortunately, I saved the post before logging back in, as it disappeared forever in that process.

    US banknotes are not made of anything that lasts. Supposedly, they are made of the same material blue jeans are, only smaller thread and tighter weave—and you know how long blue jeans last before they rip. In fact, I have often wondered if they don’t make notes so they wear out more quickly on purpose. There is probably a lot of money that has worn out—and now, as I just found out, the banks no longer have to make it good.

    One thing my wife noted in both the US and Euroland—grocery stores will accept any denomination. Most larger stores in Europe have some kind of machine that casts a light on the notes, and somehow tells the clerk whether it is good or counterfeit. In our area of Berlin, they checked everything €20 or larger. In rich Zehlendorf, where we first landed, they did not bother checking anything—except at Aldi. Guess the Albrecht brothers don’t trust anyone. A lot of smaller stores and boutiques without the light machine, would not accept anything larger than a $20. Since the ATM’s at my smaller bank only dispense $20’s, I never have a larger bill, so I have not yet been tested on the large note issue. I do remember that back in the ’70’s, most McDonald’s in Indy would not even accept a $20. That was back when their slogan was: “hamburger, fries, a drink, and change back from your dollar.”

  18. eristicist says:

    US banknotes are not made of anything that lasts. Supposedly, they are made of the same material blue jeans are, only smaller thread and tighter weave—and you know how long blue jeans last before they rip.

    Depends on the jeans, doesn’t it? I’ve had some pairs last years of hard work.

  19. Chuck W says:

    I must be hard on them. From the time I was a kid, I have always had holes in the knees and the butt, along with lots of frayed and stray loose threads down at the feet. Bought Levi’s mostly; occasionally Lee. Same story with both, even now.

  20. Roy Harvey says:

    I gave up on Levis a long time ago. Wranglers seem just as good, last about as long, and are a lot cheaper.

  21. Miles_Teg says:

    I have jeans that are old enough to vote. Y’all must be too hard on them.

  22. Robert Bruce Thompson says:

    Vote? Hell, I have jeans that are nearly old enough to be eligible for Medicare.

  23. Dave B. says:

    I must be hard on them. From the time I was a kid, I have always had holes in the knees and the butt, along with lots of frayed and stray loose threads down at the feet. Bought Levi’s mostly; occasionally Lee. Same story with both, even now.
    Lately I just seem to have the frayed and stray loose threads problem.

  24. Miles_Teg says:

    The main reason I have to ditch jeans isn’t due to fabric wear, it’s because the zip or button lets go.

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